Passive
Definition:  accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance; being the object of action rather than causing action.

Synonym:  apathetic, lifeless, impassive, asleep, compliant, docile, flat, idle, indifferent, inert, inactive, motionless, nonresistant, resigned, static, submissive. 

Not very appealing choices to describe oneself, are they?

Most of us don’t think of ourselves that way but take a close look…are you passive?

Guns, Immigration, Intolerance, Accountability, Honesty, Bullying, Democracy, Constitutional rights… these are just a sampling of serious issues in the news today. Things are happening, changes are coming…and not necessarily for the good.
 
                                          “I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something
                                              about that. Then I realized I was somebody.”
                                                                              -Lily Tomlin

Do you stand by and do nothing? Say nothing? Or do you take a stance? Will you march?

How will history look at you? What will you tell your kids of your involvement or lack of? So much of what we do and say today will affect their future.

There are two sides to every issue and surely you must have thoughts or feelings one way or another. Whatever your opinion, reach out, speak up! Have a lively debate. Listen to the opposing side. Involve your kids in a meaningful dialogue. The innocent often offer simplistic but common sense views. Compromise is not a dirty word.

If we don’t contribute our feelings or thoughts, then a compromise/solution can not be achieved. Choosing to be silent forgoes your right to speak out after a decision is made. Your right to complain  was given up with your silence.

                                       “There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less
                                        than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.”
                                                                          –John F. Kennedy

We are so concerned with being politically correct or offending someone with our point of view, that we avoid discussions. True friendship should be able to withstand an opposing opinion. There is so much more to discuss at dinner other than the hottest reality show or current celebrity status.

Get involved. Take a stance. Feel alive. It’s okay to disagree, just have the conversation. Listen. Voice your view. If you lived elsewhere, speaking openly may not be a safe option. But it is here. Don’t waste it. Be proud of your involvement…win or lose. You acted. You used your voice.

                                    “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
                                                          but the silence of our friends.”
                                                                       -Martin Luther King Jr.
 

Antonym of passive: active.
Now that’s a beautiful word!

Why do I do it? Every single year, I come up with New Year’s resolutions with the belief that this year will be different . . . this year I will follow through . . . yeah right.

The only consolation is that I know I am not alone. 

Funny but when I make a promise to someone other than myself, I DO follow through, ALWAYS.  I don’t make promises lightly or without thought as I know how important it is to that person and myself that I keep it.

But why don’t I keep promises to myself? I do like myself and I do have the best of intentions. My resolutions are not impossible to keep (i.e., eat less, exercise more, be kinder, etc.).

I envy those that keep their resolutions but I can’t honestly say that I know a lot of people who do. So I guess I am in good company and shouldn’t beat myself up.

But I will make my 2017 New Year resolutions and keep them . . . really I will… honest.

​Here are the some of the most common New Year’s resolutions:

1. Get in shape…exercise more.
2. Eat healthier and eat less.
3. Stop procrastinating.
4. Improve your concentration/mental skills.
5. Meet new people.
6. Be more active.
7. Become more confident and take chances.
8. Earn more money
9. Be polite.
10. Reduce stress.
11. Be happy with your life.
12. Get quality sleep.
13. Quit smoking
14. Watch less TV.
15. Read more.

How many of the above are on your list?

​Care to share your New Year’s resolutions with me? Or even better, advice on keeping them?

​My parting message to you . . . and myself . . . let’s not get down on ourselves if we fall short of meeting our goals. Life is short, be happy.

I always told my children, if it’s not illegal and you are not hurting anyone  . . . go for it!

Oh . . . I almost forgot.  In the New Year, don't forget to . . . 

​Why do I always voice surprise that the Holiday season is upon us once again? What a wonderful way to end the year…especially this year. 2016 was brutal.

Simple kindness and decorum is the exception now. Intolerance, speaking your mind with no censors is the ‘in’ thing. Heck, if our civic leaders do it, we certainly can’t punish our children for it, can we? I know I am old school, but civility, empathy and good will should never be outdated.
 
I am a sucker for those corny Christmas movies that make me cry and end with a message of love. We need to get back to basics.

Put down your smart phones and tablets, stop videoing everyone for everything they do, and talk . . . just talk. Even if we don’t agree, we can have a spirited discussion without ending in obscene language, gestures, or even violence. It’s ok to disagree and then get back to basics. Life would be pretty boring if we all thought the same.

There was many a politician in the past that disagreed on all types of topics. But at the end of the day, they could share a toast and laugh.

Let’s get back to basics. Do what we were taught in kindergarten. It is still true, no matter how old we are- when you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.   
 
 
So let’s end this year on a good note . . . have some fun this Holiday season.

Wear that Santa hat around town and enjoy the smiles it brings.

Sing Christmas carols OUT LOUD.

Eat Christmas cookies . . .  LOTS of them. 

Get together with family and friends, rekindle lost friendships.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us so make this Christmas the best!

And speaking of fun holidays, help me come up with a caption for the photo above.
I took the picture of my husband and daughter while we were out cutting our Christmas tree. I didn’t realize that I didn't capture my daughter in the photo till I looked later. A photographer I am not . . . guess I won’t quit my day job.
 
I do think it would make a GREAT Christmas card! If I use your caption, I’ll throw in a $20 Amazon gift card to show my thanks. Email me at roni@ronihall.com.

I have attended three reunions in the past 6 weeks. Please tell me I am not alone when I say there is always some pre-reunion anxiety, right? Who will come? What has changed since we were last together? Have we changed? Did we lose our closeness? Will we get along?
 
Two of the reunions were family which always brings drama. Should we avoid talking politics, religion, child raising, healthcare, the economy? Dare we revive old conflicts …. the possibilities are endless…and worrisome! But then again…what else is there to talk about? How do we relate if we walk on egg shells?
 
Some friends and coworkers I know avoid reunions at all costs. They just are not up for it. Whether imagined or real, they do not want to be judged. Nor do they want to answer the inevitable questions… not married? Don’t you want kids…you’re not getting any younger you know. Do you have a job? No grandkids? Why not? Have you gained weight? And it goes on and on.

​Of course, there is an up side…memories of our younger days with grandparents, aunts, uncles, remembering stories of times past that make us laugh…and cry, holding on to the shared history that bonds us. Life changes us all and leads us down different paths but our roots ground us, unite us. 

              Henry Ford Hospital-School of Nursing - 40th year reunion

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
​When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

​As a nurse, I encountered numerous memorable patients but there were a few that forever settled into my heart. Montana Wild is fiction, but Jacob, the patient in the story was real. In the span of a human lifetime, I knew him a very short time, but his spirit had a lasting effect on me. Jacob died decades ago but he stays with me and inspired me to write.
 
How is it that someone I knew for so short a time could have such a lasting effect on me?
 
Have you ever had a chance encounter with someone. . .a stranger, and you just clicked, even for a few minutes? I am not talking romantically, it goes deeper and more to the core than that. Age, gender, race doesn’t come into play…you just feel a connection with their spirit. In my lifetime, this has happened to me only a handful of times but I cherish each occurrence.
 
I was in an elevator with a group of people once when it happened…something almost magical. For those few short moments, as we traveled between floors, I felt a kinship… talking, laughing, interacting on a real level, sharing an unusually close rapport of humankind. As the routine journey stopped at every floor, packed in like sardines, we became one…sharing laughter, stories, kindness…basic human spirit.

When we finally reached our destination, I felt sadness when the doors opened and the shared warmth dissipated as we all went our separate ways. I mourned that it was over, but a deep contentment lingered as I knew I had just shared something special. Did everyone feel that same afterglow? I hope so. Why does it happen so rarely?
 
Jacob’s time with me was short but when a connection like that happens, one cannot measure it in time but in essence. A bit of his spirit lives on in me.  It was a gift.
​Thank you Jacob.

When my children were growing up, we had a chocolate lab, Stanley who was an ‘old soul’ and loved by all. Pre-occupied with raising kids and a full time job I didn’t give Stanley much of my time but luckily, my kids and husband lavished him with love and attention. Sadly, he developed cancer and the prognosis was poor. I tearfully asked our vet how long can we could keep him without being cruel. “You’ll know when it’s time,” our kind friend answered.
 
It was only a month later while we were vacationing at our cottage, when his words rang true. We unanimously decided that it was time and my husband would drive Stanley back to our home vet. During his last 2 days with us, we fed him everything and anything he wanted. For his last night, my daughter and I slept in sleeping bags with him between us on his bed on the floor. It was a long, tough night but I hope he felt our love.
 
Saying good-bye to him as my husband loaded him into the car was heartbreaking.
That was the last summer before our daughter left for college and I swore off any more pets. It was too painful saying good-bye.
 
Fast forward 8 years and my son temporarily moved back in with us. He wanted a dog and my husband and I finally agreed after many a discussion. After all, my son was home for a short-term transition and it would be his dog, his responsibility. Evan was true to his word. He fed him, trained him, cleaned up after him and loved him.